It's the holiest week of the liturgical year and yet I still find myself wondering where the season of Lent has gone and feel a bit lost.
Life in general is like that right now. A household with a newborn, toddler and growing up big kids seems to have left me in a time warp.
I am still wandering in the desert. The dry and lonely desert. I think that when your spiritual life is currently bland and lifeless, so too many other facets of your life can tend to feel. Perhaps I'm mistaking the dry, destitute and empty wasteland as useless and forsaken. For such times as these I may be most fruitful and being formed most by the Divine Potter's hands. His voice may be silent and His guiding hand gentle, but yet they are ever-present.
My Lenten walk may have been meant to be scattered with less boulders and more pebbles and stones this year. He probably knew that life adjustments with two little ones would take me further in my Lenten offerings than another type of sacrifice ever could.
Instead of wishing I had a Lenten do-over perhaps I need to be patient with myself and make my Holy Week more prayerful. Maybe by reminding myself of the sacrifice of Christ Himself, I will make it through the desert. Like Simon of Cyrene, maybe I am needed to help someone else carry their cross today.
As we walk through this week and the journey of Jesus' passion and death, may it draw us closer to Him and to His mother who stood at the foot of the cross.