Monday, March 23, 2009

The Week Of Babies

Last week was a bit of a tough week. It was definitely the week of pregnancy announcements. I know that I am surrounded by family and friends who are in their 'fertile years', however, last week held some type of record in my book. From Friday to Friday, I found out about FIVE pregnancies!! Not kidding. Ok, so one of them was my dentist, but still it counts. The other four were two friends and two family members. Am I the only person who thinks this is not normal? Oh, and all of this in the midst of my own cycle again starting and realizing that another month has passed without conceiving(Excuse me for the TMI!). Rough week, indeed.

It was interesting that two of the pregnancies, the family members, I found out via Facebook. The first, my cousin's wife, is past her first trimester and they had just told family and then she shared it with the rest of us via Facebook. The second, a cousin, also posted some odd status on her Facebook account and from that I concluded that she was expecting and according to my calculations she's maybe 5 weeks along. And then, I found out that she had only found out the day before and then posted it FOR ALL TO SEE on Facebook the following day. I found that a bit, well, peculiar. Not exactly how I plan on making my announcement again one day. If I do announce via a social network, it will probably be after my first trimester and when I've personally told close family members. Ok, and I'll probably figure out a cute way to post it here too!!

Any way, this baby frenzy leaves a woman like me a bit traumatized and speechless. Trust me, lots of praying done on my end last week. I leaned hard on the Blessed Mother last week and my husband too. It's a week like that one, that can get a girl down. After each announcement from another blessed woman declaring her pregnancy, I rallied and I prayed. No tears were shed, but sadness and loneliness filled my heart. I will admit to you, there were many times that words of anger filled my mind and flowed from my mouth.

Please understand that these are not words of bitterness any longer as they may have been in the first year or two of this infertility journey, they were mostly words that cried out longing for when it would be my turn again. Not that these other women don't deserve it or that I am not happy for them, but I have patiently waited. I am saddened when 'my turn' again gets passed by and another month again passes. And then I hear of these other couples who 'are trying to have a baby' and within a few short months they share the news of a pregnancy.

I write this not for sympathy, but more for understanding. It's been awhile since I've posted on my infertility and there's been a post brewing in my heart, but I haven't figured out in my head just yet how it will be written. Last week's announcements left my heart a bit raw and I wanted to share it with you. This shall pass, I know it will. God will continue to lead and direct my path, wherever it may take me in the way of bringing more children into our home. Some days are a bit harder than others when pregnant bellies swarm in and surround me. Faithfulness to Christ and to the Church's teachings are tough to follow when my heart is aching and yearning for another child, but we will continue to be faithful and I know in the end that we will be richly rewarded. This week will be a better one and who knows what will come from this cycle. I continue to live in the present and embrace the grace that God gives me each and every day to fulfill my vocation as wife and mother faithfully.


  1. (((HUGS))) I am so sorry. I am praying for you to be the next announcement.

  2. hugs and prayers from me too. Have you gotten that womb blessing from a priest yet?

    It seemed to me a lot of women have been pregnant these past few months too, but I personally know of 4 women who have lost their babies, all in the past few months. (one was twins)

    I'm sure you will conceive again, you just don't know God's reason for this break but I'm sure you will someday look back and treasure it as a gift.

    Prayers and hugs for you Sarah.
    Love you!

  3. I found your blog last week through the Catholic Mothers Online blog roll. I wanted to share this beautiful post I read last month. It certainly lifted me.

    Also, here are a few prayers that help me.

    May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

    to do Him some definite service
    He has committed some work to me
    which He has not committed to another
    I may never know it in this life
    but I shall be told it in the next
    A bond of connection between persons
    He has not created me for naught
    I shall do good- I shall do His work
    I shall be an angel of peace
    a preacher of truth in my own place
    while not intending it
    if I do but keep His commandments
    whatever I am, I can never be thrown away
    If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him
    in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him
    If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him
    He knows what He is about
    He may take away my friends
    He may throw me among strangers
    He may hide my future from me- still
    - Cardinal Newman

  4. I will pray for you! We are dealing with the same thing... Most of my friends, my age, all have two, three or more kiddos! We have been blessed with one.... but my heart hurts for more and it has been almost three years of trying! Know that I am feeling your heart and will pray for continued peace and comfort.

  5. Thanks for all the support ladies! Prayers are always appreciated.

    Thanks Mommy Monkey (sorry, I don't know your real name) for the post link and the prayers. They will be great reminders/helps for me.

    Tara, I'll be adding you to my prayer list. Hopefully things will happen for you soon too and you'll be able to have another little one.

    Jaime, still working on that womb blessing. We have a couple friends who are priests and I'd like one of them to do it. Just haven't seen them lately. Hopefully soon or I'll have to resort to finding a local priest with whom I'd be comfortable asking. :)

  6. God is funny, you are praying for more babies, and I am praying to postpone more. I guess we all want what we don't have. I would give you my fertility if I could ;) I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you...and I need to stop complaining about how easily I get pregnant, it truly is a gift. Hugs and prayers!!


You're so kind for dropping me a line!

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