The Most Randomly Put Together Post You'll Ever Read + Favorite Posts This Week

If you can follow this post at all, you will win an award. I have sat at the computer nearly a dozen times today (Thursday) to write this thing. Being that no full thought has ever come together yet, I'm going to be human and just throw it out there.

These are the days, my friends. THESE are the days.

Right now in this house we're doing normal things, summer things, survival things and chasing our tails things. I incorporated a new list of daily chores and another of 'you-live-in-this-house-don't-forget-you-need-to-contribute' things for the kids this week. They all seem easy to me, but then these are all daily tasks that I naturally pick up and just DO.

I'm not sitting around (see photo above...not me) soaking in the sun and enjoying the summer day. I am also not blissfully happy being pregnant and loving my chicks gathered around wandering around with nary a thing to do. Well, not the little girls. They rarely gather, but their path of destruction behind their every move is of epic proportions. They are like twins I'd guess or to which I liken them "more of a handful than five small boys."

Throw in the fact that we're in full blown potty training with the three year old and the last thing I've been up to is resting.

And, I've been complaining and miserably not myself at times.

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised then when this prompt for the day popped up on Blessed Is She today:

I had plans for today. You know, the stuff that needs my attention and time. The things I need to do while I have the energy to do them.

But then I saw that prompt this morning.

It really should've been glued to my forehead or maybe tattooed to my arm.

When I find myself inspired by the words or insights of others, I better be prepared to be given plenty opportunity to heed them.

Like when I put this printable in the frame and set it on the kitchen windowsill as my summer reminder:

You get the point. A lot of times though others say it better than I, which leads me to the other point of this post. These were a couple of the goodies that popped up in my feed this week and kept me thinking:


Mothering Spirit: There Is Another Way


Surviving Our Blessings: The Mess Is The Thing


Martin Family Moments: Maggie With An e



Finally, a couple photos to close this out and wrap the scattered.


Somehow in the excitement of the early summer I neglected to share this ultrasound photo from two weeks ago. I've never had the 3D ultrasound availability with any of the other kids and I was so hoping they'd turn it on so I could see the baby in 3D. They did!

Mr. or Miss Smooshy Face at nearly 25 weeks:

Baby was being super uncooperative again (super low rider baby here) this time around, but at least they got the measurements and views they needed. I've got orders in for another ultrasound at 32 weeks since they want to check out the kidney to bladder measurements that weren't quite in the normal range. Usually these things resolve themselves.

I'll admit that every look at this little person reminds me of the outcome and blessing of all this. Pregnancy is not my thing and with so many extra changes (painful varicose veins in one leg and recently diagnosed hernia + let's not even discuss the chest measurements that are so not me), there's that part of me that forgets the generosity of God and that at one time five children would have been hard to imagine possible.

In case you want visible proof that we are surviving, occasionally we smile and we're doing our best, here you go. This was taken last Sunday at the 20th ordination anniversary party for our dear priest friend. A mom of many walked up as the kids were hanging around and I was just debating taking their photo. She came in like Super Mom and asked if we'd like her to take a family photo. Why, yes please. While these moments are rare, they do exist. Even if my weekdays feel overwhelming and scattered, I know that grace abounds and we make it through.

God's got this. He does.

Thankfully, even in spite of my cranky, complaining, human self.

Simplicity In Celebrating: Mother's Day

Sometimes lack of plans (expectations)  =  simple gratitude and a peaceful heart.

Have you found that to be true too? Again, I did this Mother's Day weekend. A couple years ago I wrote about my high expectations and I vowed not to do that again. Thankfully, I may have found my sweet spot for Mother's Day weekend after keeping it simple last year and again this year.

We kicked off the weekend with Field Trip Friday with the kids. I hope I can get around to write about that another day. 

Saturday morning started sunny and bright with plans to meet my mom for coffee. I invited any of the kids that wanted to join us to come along.

Of course, they all did.

That was just fine too. A cup of coffee, smoothies, muffins and time with Mom/Grandma are always a nice treat.

'Cuz my mom is pretty awesome, as I've said before. 

As my Gianna now says to me, "Mom, you're the bomb." So is my mom.

Afterward, we headed home to take care of some odds and ends around the yard. We also had a visitor, our favorite seminarian came out for a few hours to hang out. ALWAYS a bright spot to the day for my kids when he stops over.

We also opted for going to Saturday evening Mass not so I could sleep in on Mother's Day, but just not be rushed for one Sunday morning out of the year. I know, it's the little things.

This morning I woke up bright and early as always, but couldn't get back to sleep. I hung out in my jammies for a while and then decided to use my time wisely to workout. I hopped on the treadmill and tried my newest app, Running Interval Timer, pounded out just under 3 miles in 1/2 hr and called it good. 

Considering I hadn't even had a cup of coffee in my veins yet, that was a good workout. It seemed to set me on the right path to head into my day.

The kids and Reed made a delicious breakfast, as always. Again we went for Patty's stuffed french toast recipe (can't go wrong there), bacon and eggs.

The rest of the day was filled with rest, peace, bliss, with lots of time with my kids and husband. 

And kisses. 

My kids got me a Mary garden statue I stumbled upon a couple weeks ago online. If you knew how I've been looking forever for the "perfect" statue, this was a most welcome gift. I was kind of picky all this time, didn't want Mary too big or too small, she needed to have features, not the classic garden Mary statue, I preferred her to hold baby Jesus, etc, etc. 

So I was beyond thrilled when I found this statue here and highly demanded suggested it for Mother's Day.

She's perfect. 

While plain now in my barren garden, she will be adorned with so many blooming flowers this summer. I can't wait to officially have a Mary Garden in my yard after all this time of waiting.

As the afternoon wound down, one of my favorite plans of the day came to fruition. 

You see, Patty and I had devised a plan to take our friendship to the next level. The level that is beyond the typing/commenting/texting kind and on to the see-inside-my-crazy-life-in-real-time-and-hear-my-voice next step. I was so giddy!! My kids were excited to see her kids and hear their voices as well.

I almost put on lipstick for you, Patty. lol. 

We got ourselves all techie and gave Skype a whirl. It's an amazing thing when there is no distance when you see those faces on the screen. As if the miles between Minnesota and Texas are not so many at all.  And yes, she is just as sweet and amazing in person as she appears when she writes. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Patty. It totally made my Mother's Day to finally 'meet' my sweet TX friend.

The afternoon finished with roasted hot dogs and cake at my in laws, just down the driveway. Some time of visiting with family and just hanging out by the picnic table.

As the day closes I'm ready to put up my feet and rest a bit while I write all of these wonderful memories on my Mother's heart.

It was a good day. I hope you all had a very memorable one too. 

Wishes For Me From My Kids

Earlier in the week the subject of the looming Mother's Day came up with my kids. As the conversation went on somehow the idea of a guest post came up to celebrate their mom. It then became a wish list of sorts and I decided to just go with it and let them be creative.

Lily even approached the little girls with questions on what they wished mom could do. It was pretty impromptu, as the list would suggest, but it is totally my kids.

From Jonah:

1. I wish she would have a baby boy.

2. I wish she played Minecraft.

3. I wish she would play Legos with me.

4. I wish she was an actress.

5. I wish I could go on a trip with her to Rome (of course to meet the Pope :)

From Lily:

6. I wish she could snowboard with me.

7. I wish she watched Star Wars with us (and understood it).

8. I wish she watched Indiana Jones with us (and didn't get grossed out).

9. I wish she would have another baby.

10. I wish she rock climbed.

From Gianna:

11. I wish mommy would dance.

12. I wish she would go shopping.

13. I wish she would go outside with me.



From Margaret:

14. I wish she would watch Calliou with me.

15. I wish she would give me money.

16. I wish she was a butterfly.



You never know, my kids' wishes could come true.

Maybe by next Mother's Day I will be a pregnant, dancing, snowboarding butterfly-actress. They can only keep wishing!


To you, my dear blogging moms who inspire and encourage me every single day, may you have a Happy Mother's Day and may all your mommy wishes come true.

Motherhood Isn't Wrapped Up In A Day

How was your Mother's Day?

Am I the only person that finds it a bit difficult to honor and be honored all in one day?

I mean, it's great to have our special day but it's also a fair amount of work too. Making everyone happy, trying to be with the Mom's you love while they may also have to be with their Mom too. And then you're the mom, so someone is trying to make you feel special as well.

Phew. It's hard work and clearly cannot be bottled in one day! It's another reminder to love your mama and always appreciate her every single day.

In the end, it's a good day. Always is, no matter how much or how little we plan, do or celebrate.

This year we kept it relatively low key, but it still was very nice.

After Mass we had my MIL and FIL over for breakfast. A fine meal was prepared by Reed (and the kids a little bit) of bacon, fresh fruit and Cream Cheese Stuffed Blueberry French Toast (You can find the recipe here. Thanks Patty!). The In Laws also brought caramel and cinnamon rolls. 

A very good start to our day (Mass and the meal).

After kitchen clean up, I demanded strongly suggested pictures with my kids. Which the kids were ever so eager to participate in. (That was sarcasm. Even my kids aren't complete angels on Mother's Day)

The Kids and I & The Boy and I:

A family walk was in order to burn off those sweet calories from earlier.

My Boy and My Baby.....*sigh*......

The Four: Little Girl Sandwich between The Big Kids

My new favorite picture of Gianna. A sweet toddler giddy with giddiness while enjoying a shoulder ride on daddy. I know, be.still.my.heart.  

Afterward, I managed to fit in a little run on the treadmill using my new earbuds and heart monitor/timer/stopwatch I received for Mother's Day (that's my shout-out to hubby and his shopping skills--go daddy!)

I finished up just in time to go pack in a few more calories at the DQ where we met up with my parents. Nothing says celebration quite like a DQ Blizzard.

A semi-quiet evening at home and soon off to bed.

Another Mother's Day done, another day of being a mom and loving the vocation of motherhood. It's days like today that takes all the other days, wraps them in a bow and reminds us how blessed we are to be called MOM. 

Even if tomorrow is Monday and all of this will be forgotten. 

We know we are loved and we are a very big part of the big picture of God's story.

I hope you had a very special Mother's Day!

Motherhood Monday

 

Highlighted from A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms  (page 15, St. Gerard Majella):

'The gift of motherhood is an endless joy marked by moments of great grace and great sorrows.'

This caught my eye as I was sharing with a friend. I am hoping that this week brings great moments of joy that have sprinkles of grace. While caught in the middle of the winter lull and the homeschool mom burn out months, sprinkles are a wonderful addition to any week. Wouldn't you agree?

Finding A Place

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My son seems to be at an awkward place, that in between place. Since turning seven two months ago, I have noticed a change in him. He went from little boy to young boy. He also became more boy-like and has found fascination (and laughability) at bodily functions. Yes, THAT age.

But while he reaches for further independence and time alone, he also still needs the approval of his big sister and thrives on spending time with her. She's going through her own growing phase and seeks her own space and time alone.

I think some of this searching for Jonah stems from being the only boy within the three girls. Upon further investigation and thought I think the arrival of back-to-back baby girls after him being my 'baby', has perhaps contributed.

I find my boy spending time alone and sometimes creating a play place in the oddest places (see photo above, that's my pantry and that is his 'hotel' he created). I try my hardest to include him and ask for his help throughout the day, for fear that he does not feel loved or included in a busy household that demands so much of my time.

He yearns for friends that he has everything in common with and are his exact same age. And he also wants them to share his precise and in-depth love for Thomas trains. Lily has moved on and doesn't always want to do everything he does, much to his dismay. It's hard to explain to him and help him understand. I wish it were simple.

This is a tough age. For him and for me. As I watch him grow and change, I'm reminded how we all go through the growing pains of life. How there are times we all search for our place to belong and our place to be. How do I gently lead, guide and love him while attentively caring for the needs of the rest of the family?

I cannot help but wonder if this is a little how God feels. I watch my son and my heart swells as tears fill my eyes. I deeply love my son and ache for him, with the same love that Christ must feel for me. Yet still I have only felt a glimpse of that overwhelming love that He has for me.

He has a place for us and He gently watches over us and helps us find it. I hope that I can gracefully do the same for my son.

On Mother's Day

I think we successfully filled Mother's Day to the brim. I don't think I really rested, but that's ok. The weather was beautiful, the kids were busy (and sometimes ornery) and the day just whizzed on by. It was a good day though since I've learned not to have high expectations and try to do a million things I want to do.

Reed does a great job trying to do all the little things so that I don't have to, but let's face it, maintaining order on a weekend is a two person job. He's sweet though and makes a wonderful brunch, tries to keep the kids' shenanigans to a minimum and makes sure that at some point we do what I want to do.

I was able to spend time with my mom yesterday morning (more to come in another post), so we didn't have to travel far today. We spent time as a family in the morning with brunch and some time outside before heading over to Reed's parents.

The kids set up croquet to play

Roasted hot dogs

Gianna was busy wandering around the yard, climbing the stairs a zillion times and checking out Grandma's flowers

In the late afternoon we headed to town to hit up the new Cherry Berry that opened last week. Jonah had decided that it would be a nice Mother's Day treat to take me to one of my favorite places. Never mind the fact that I was ready to put my feet up at home, wasn't really that hungry and I think the ulterior motive was that HE really wanted to go to Cherry Berry. Oh well, Mother's Day only comes once a year!

YUM!

Poor Greta, stuck in the carseat without any frozen yogurt.

Finally, a photo of my kids. This is the best we got before girls were crying or walking away. Maybe one year I'll actually get a Mother's Day photo of me with all my children? Or with me actually in a photo?

Some of us got a little fed up with the photos in the bright sun.

I hope all of you had a wonderful Mother's Day. I'm sure your husbands and children made you feel special and loved, even if it maybe wasn't in the most ideal and perfect way. Thanks to them, we get to bear the great title of 'Mom' and are given one of the most important jobs on earth.

Days Like This

You know those days when you think you maybe should have just stayed in bed and ignored the demands of another day? Today is one of those days. Well, not completely. I haven't gone crazy. Yet.

The end of the school year is near, but yet far enough that each assignment is filled with dramatics and complaint. The piano doesn't play itself and therefore leads the musician most obstinate in getting practicing done for the day. The toys cluttering my bedroom that I've asked to be picked up several days ago, are still there and now officially banished from ever darkening my doorway again. Or else.

Toys are strewn across the floor in another wave of toddler tornado. The fits and starts of rain outside means we are stuck inside. Again. The cap we put on daily electronic time (Wii, computer, tv, iPod) has left the troops angered. And yet, when reminded that the time diminishes every time they do not get off an electronic immediately when the time is up, it is our fault for being such mean parents. Ah yes, today I am the mean mom, the crabby one, the parent they will never be like because their children will have it differently. I guess somehow they got the idea that I'm up for the Mom of the Year award and wanted to be sure that my nomination was nixed from the ballot.

If we had a dog or cat, I'm sure they'd be mad at me today too.

Do you have these days? The ones like this that make the mantle of motherhood so hard to wear and seemingly unattainable?

Today I'm dreaming of a peaceful place. And maybe of the day that the house is empty. Feeling just a wee-bit defeated by mothering growing, older children who can walk away from me and talk back to me. It's easy to let the feeling of failure take over and the realization that my children are far from perfect. The road ahead in the area of discipline and life lessons seems long and daunting on a day like today.

It's feeling like we're at a place of a little less hand holding and gentle direction to a place of strict discipline, consequences and firm expectations. Sure we've been doing all of this for years, but we get a bit lenient and let things slide every once in a while. 

There are lessons to be learned. Requirements to be made. Rules to follow.

It's not that bad, really. There have been worse days, I remind myself. It's just that days like this catch me off guard when we've been in a smooth and blissful pattern.

And as all of this is swimming through my head, the heavens open up wide and send me some sunshine.

The baby giggles and laughs.

The toddler looks up at me and shouts "Mommy!" clearly and loudly for the first time.

They save the day and draw my attention back to reality. It's gonna be OK. We'll make it through somehow. Maybe the day isn't a total bust.



There's also that peanut butter cake,  fresh out of the oven that may help make the rest of today more manageable.

Buddies

Almost daily I'm finding that my four children are filled with more similarities and differences. I'm also finding that I use terms like "the big kids", "the girls", "the little girls" habitually.

I've discovered that there are already personality clashes between the kids and some of them know one another's hot buttons more than they should. Sometimes it's pretty funny, like when Gianna goes and takes something that is one of Jonah's beloved items that she KNOWS is going to make him upset. (Yes, she really does that, even at her age) Other times, it's just an act of frustration that gets under my skin. So, I've already devised a buddy system.

I think the big kids get a kick out of when I say things like "spend some time with your buddy" or "entertain your buddy for a minute". I see potential for the buddy system working well in another year when both little girls are mobile and we are out and about, away from home.

While this may change over time as personalities change, right now Jonah is drawn more to Greta and spending time with her. Since Gianna's birth, Lily has been little mother to Gianna and is really good with tending to her little chick. It's not that they don't get along with the other little girl, it's just that right now they have their buddy.

I try and make sure that there isn't any segregation or indifference that keeps them from going beyond just spending time with the one they get along with best. With Jonah being the only boy, he needs the extra encouragement to care for his sisters and try to understand them rather than be frustrated. For instance, I encourage Jonah in learning how to handle Gianna even if they are too similar in personality that they can't be left alone for too long.

It's so endearing to watch them together and getting along. It's very interesting (when it's not frustrating) to see the dynamics between them all and how that works. For the most part, they do all get along really well and coexist together. I'm intrigued to see how this all continues to unfold as time goes by.

I just never know when I'll be caught off-guard when I get to witness a very unlikely sight. There is always the sweetness amidst the conflict of brother-sister antagonizing.





Finding My Mommy Legs

No, I'm not going to show you my post-pregnancy legs. Even though I'm sure you'd all love to see them.

Instead, this is more of a post about settling in and getting readjusted and acclimated to slowing down again. Now that we are almost six weeks postpartum, life seems to be moving back into the direction of normalcy and routine.

We're fine tuning and tweaking all of the to do's that command the day, but we're making steady progress. That's a good feeling.

I'm feeling like I CAN juggle and keep things going each day. It probably helps that I'm not as tired and weathered as I felt during the first few weeks. I've mastered the fine art of carrying both little girls as once, picking up one of them while already holding the other and so many other contortionist maneuvers than I care to mention.

Of course, all of this is made do-able by an extremely helpful husband, two older kids that are helpful to some degree and a baby that only wakes once during the night. All of those factors definitely contribute to helping mommy find her place in motherhood again and feel confident in doing so.

I'm a little unsteady on these legs some days, but I get by. I remind myself often that I am in the company of some very heroic and amazing women who manage many littles every day.

Step by step and day by day I'm granted the grace to do the very same thing.

-----------------

With those thought provoking words, let me now turn to discussing my actual physical legs on which I daily stand.

These back-to-back pregnancies did a number on my legs in the spider vein department. Please tell me you can commiserate? And while you're at it, please tell me you have found a miracle cure/way to fix these things that does not involve a medical professional. Is that possible? Any and all suggestions, as always, are most welcome.

Not that I'm being vein vain, but I would like to still look like I'm in my early thirties not well beyond. I'd like these legs to look decent for another 100,000 miles or so, even if it is just for me (and my husband) that see a good portion of them.

One Month And Thriving

Greta is one month old already today!



She's growing already and weighed in at 7 lbs. 14 oz. when she was in at two and a half weeks. My husband even pointed out last week that she is now sporting a cute little double chin.

It's hard to imagine our household without three girls and a boy or without a newborn. Not that we have fully adjusted, but Miss Greta has made adjustment relatively easy. We've had the usual growing pains and a few setbacks, but for the most part I manage to keep juggling all the balls that are thrown our way. I find that the mornings and mealtime seem to be the hardest times due to the extra demands of a newborn and one year old. We're surviving though and each day is flying by at rapid speed. I'm so grateful that it's the winter season and a slower time right now, so that our obligations are few.

As for mama, I'm doing pretty well too. While Greta bulks up, I'm slimming down and feeling pretty darn good. I got the ok from my doc at two weeks postpartum to go ahead with regular activity/exercise, so that has been an added bonus. Yes, fitting in exercising time even minimally several times a week is a challenge. Yes, there are days I'd rather spend my few minutes of down time reading, resting or napping. Some days I do, but other days I take the half hour or fifteen minutes here and there and do my indoor walk or other cardio, resistance training and hip/thigh exercises (they took the biggest gain this pregnancy and need to be slimmed down dramatically IMHO). I took my first outing alone last weekend, even though it was just quickly to Walmart for a few essentials. I also ventured out earlier this week with all four kiddos to take Greta in to meet the staff at hubby's office and take Lily to piano lesson. Otherwise, Reed has been amazing at being my errand servant and
helper in all departments needed.

Big sister Gianna has taken on some changes this month too. She turned one year old and is now our official in-house little girl and no longer baby. *sigh* She's coming into her own and finding a place here as resident tormentor of big brother and screaming/screeching hooligan. She has also figured out now that the little sleeping person in the house will not be leaving any time soon, so she might as well embrace her.



Now, we will find her frequently smelling Greta's feet or hands or trying to give her little kisses. Thankfully, it's still kisses and not head-butts that some other members of the family have been recent recipients of.



All is well and we remind ourselves not to blink, because this time is so fleeting. Spring will be here before we know it. We'll be outdoors enjoying all of the newness it brings while we push along our double stroller of little girls and our big kids zoom past us on their bikes.

This season is ours to fully embrace and enjoy, for it was beautifully given to us by God in His perfect timing.




**Baptism and Birthday photos are still coming. Hopefully next week!

Words Of Wisdom: Don't Blink

Over at Suscipio this week there was this post, which couldn't have come at a better time. In a nutshell, it perfectly cast a light onto all of the worries and fear that have accumulated over the last weeks.

There's something about planning a first birthday party for my baby and at the same time planning for the imminent labor & delivery of another baby. Both, within a week or two of one another.

God is in the details and all will be well. I know this to be true because He's sent me reminders this week that tell me so.

A must read for those of us in the trenches--you know, I never thought it would be ME in THESE trenches. I'm glad it is though because it's going to give me a lot of new perspective of all that matters and will also help me work on that Tranquility thing.

Thank you, Elizabeth Foss, for the beautiful post. I will surely be reading it over and over again.



BTW, the above photo is Gianna as a newborn. No new baby to post about...yet.

Fluff And Stuff

I'm feeling fluffy today.

No, not fat kind of fluffy, although my baby bump is certainly growing. More of a do-I-really-have-anything-insightful-to-take-the-time-to-type-into-a-post-because-my-readers-deserve-some-new-material-but-I-just-have-randoms-in-my-head-so-I'll-write-a-fluff-post-instead.

You get all that?

Who doesn't like fluff? I like fluffy teddy bears and fluffy slippers and a big fluffy pillow, don't you? I hope you aren't disappointed, but I'm forging ahead with a pregnancy brain, fluffy post. Feel free to leave now if you'd like. I won't mind and I promise that there will surely be more substance back here very soon.

Here we go:

-I'm trying to get myself into Advent. But, as I said here, my brain is still stuck in September. It's a bummer because this is my absolute FAVORITE time of year. I love the preparation, the decorating, the baking and the family time. Now I just need to jump in and get my head in the season.

-Perhaps the above will be better once I start decorating the house and baking cookies. I love when my house is decorated and smelling of Christmas. The last couple years though it's the setting up all the decor and pulling out the bins that is daunting. I blame the belly. Good thing I've got such a helpful and willing hubby.

-Almost all of the Christmas gifts are bought or ordered. I scored a great deal on my photo gifts for several people, so that thrilled me to no end. And, I was offered an Amazon Prime free trial at the beginning of November, so I've been getting some great deals, plus free shipping. Sweet deal, but a little addicting to just go out on Amazon any time and order anything not worrying about shipping. Normally I'd be waiting and combining as much as I can when I order, but with the Prime I've been an orderaholic. Probably not worth it for us personally to actually purchase the Prime, but a sweet deal if you order a ton.

-The kids are growing up too fast. I know we all say that, but it's true. Lily is turning into such a young lady (already)and she is such a mother hen. She checks in with me daily at least once, asking if I've felt the baby move recently. I've never asked her why, but I think even she likes to have the reassurances. Jonah is keeping busy with constantly transforming and changing his Thomas the train sets and redesigning them. School has a few struggles for him, but we're trying to figure them out and work with them. Speaking of school, we are keeping a steady pace since we just have a few weeks until Christmas break, then another month of school and then baby may arrive any time. We'll see where we go from there.

-As for the little lady of the household, Miss Gianna is keeping us all busy and entertained. She is developing a fun personality and is keen on watching us all the time. She's drinking from a sippy cup, can drink from a straw and will self feed at snack time. I cannot believe she is nine months old!



I had her in to the doctor for a check up the other day and she weighed in at 21 lbs. 3 oz. and 29 inches long. Doing well. She absolutely hated the appointment though and she didn't get to show off her fun personality, funny little grin accompanied by scrunched up nose or hear her little laugh. She cried and screamed the.entire.time. And, that even included when the doctor (her Godfather) was checking her over. (Thankfully, she doesn't usually act like that when we see him outside the clinic)I guess she doesn't like non-family members in her space or at least she doesn't at the clinic.

-I find myself craving things and very hungry this week. Perhaps little Gem is going through a growth spurt? I've never really been one for cravings or to have them that long. Even when I have had them while pregnant, I don't usually give in or make my husband go out and get them for me. Coffee (half-caf) is tasting especially yummy and comforting lately. I try to stick with my one grande cup per day, but some days by mid-afternoon the second cup is calling. Sometimes I give in. And how about those advertisements for the Arby's Reuben? Have you seen them?



That is looking scrumptious right now. I should probably pass though since the sauerkraut may do a number on my tummy.


I think that is about it from here. There you go. How's that for a bunch of fluff?

I hope that your first week of Advent is going well. Please stay tuned here, despite the nonsense. Rest assured that I'm still reading from all of you, despite the lack of commenting.

Realities Of Motherhood

The other evening as I rocked Gianna back to sleep I got to thinking.

That alone can be alarming considering that I think my brain is working at only half-power lately.

As I rocked back and forth snuggling my little one I also sat there misty eyed. The day had been long, I was tired, Gianna had been peacefully sleeping and now was suddenly startled and awake again. I had found out that my progesterone number had dropped since last week and I was anticipating another progesterone shot within minutes. I am tired of those things and was so hoping that my number would sustain and get me off of them for the remainder of this pregnancy. No such luck.

I wearily rocked my sweet baby girl as my other baby, current in-belly resident, kicked and moved. I couldn't help but think how it's the beginning of sibling rivalry or perhaps camaraderie. I half embraced the moment as the other half of me became overcome with emotion.

I am human. I am mom and I am wife. Like most moms, I.am.tired.

In that moment the reality of motherhood grasped hold of me and I thought of how overwhelmed and restless I felt. This would all only be magnified when a new little one enters our house in mere months, while I trip over toys, run after a one year old, school my older children and wear my super-mom cape as I fly around the house. I could not imagine how she does it and still remains sane. I pondered for a moment so many women I know who hold in their loving arms child after child who they lovingly raise. Far better are they than I, for being able to care for and manage so many blessings.

Overcome, I then realized that every reality of motherhood and day in the trenches most often can easily be outweighed by the rewards of motherhood. The daily graces that I cling to and desire. Difficult days like these aren't forever and most often don't last, although they seem to pile up and feel like they never end. There are so many good days that are filled with enough moments and memories to fill the mommy scrapbook in my heart.

A peace and serenity came over me.

I looked down at the sleeping baby in my arms, inhaled her sweetness and kissed her one more time before laying her back in the crib. I watched her peaceful sleep and knew that sometimes we need to face the realities in order to more fully see and enjoy the rewards of motherhood.

Although it isn't always glamorous and perfect, this is my vocation and I wouldn't change a thing about my daily reality.

I closed the door and turned to face my other reality-a sharp jab in the behind.