That Moment That Got Me Off My Feet

With a new year usually brings the hope of new things on the horizons, new ideas, new YOU, all those fun things.

I've never been one for resolutions or lofty goals to fall short on. The last few years I have maintained to seek out a word for the year and keep it in mind while seeing how God would best use it that year.

This year I am still searching for that word, but I did sit down near the beginning of the year to jot down some ideas. Short and sweet, so as to be attainable. Perhaps some are too general, but I consider them a working list to be tweaked along the way.

Many of the items are for personal growth or to cultivate better family relationships, making more time for others, better prayer time and the like. A few of the other things on my list for the new year are to be more intentional, but also being present to those around me. I also strive to be content and more laid back. (Well, at least a little bit more)

Let the things that can BE, just BE. Everything on my list cannot be done today. Everyone's demands optional needs (above and beyond food, clothing, water, shelter, butt wiping, etc) cannot be met by only me at every moment they exactly want them. I realize that I am an on-my-feet-keeping-busy-be-everything-to-everyone gal. You know how I finally saw the light? My Christmas break. Day one of the break was me declaring that nothing above and beyond would be tackled. There would be more time for reading, relaxing, putting my feet up, napping, and watching Christmas movies.

But then came the things. The stuff. The needs of others and of my home.

I couldn't let the whole house go to heck in a hand basket. The thing was, cleaning still needed to happen, laundry done, and meals prepared. I tried to settle my brain and I did keep to some of the things on my list, but I still found that even without schooling in our days I was still on my feet and busy.

Late in the afternoon on New Year's Eve, I finally sat down for 10 minutes because I was so gosh darn tired. My toddlers' radar instantly beamed in that something was terribly wrong. In almost unison, both said "mommy, what are you doing?" When I replied that I was just sitting down for a few minutes to rest they looked at me with question marks in their eyes. And then proceeded to jump on me and snuggle in as close as possible.

In that moment something broke through. Something said that I needed a change, even the slightest.

I have felt weary for probably the length of my girls' lives. Irish twins do that to you. That season took me to my knees in fits of desperate, crying out prayer as much as it took me to my feet in wearing daily the much more busy mantle of motherhood.

But in that moment nearly two weeks ago, I realized that the season is different now. I suddenly saw that taking a step back, changing my intentions and approach, would lead me to better places spiritually, physically, and emotionally. It has meant setting aside more to-do's that my perfectionist heart desires to accomplish and instead enjoying the feeling of furniture beneath my body. It allowed me to listen to my heart on more than one occasion and engage my children enough to let them voice their feelings. While I still take care of what needs to be handled daily, I'm trying to manage my time better. I'm finding simple ways to bond with my children and husband, while also making progress in the things I'd like to be doing. I sit down and read a book to engage my brain at least once a day.

These things are bringing me more peace and happiness.

These things are filling my cup.

These things are making the resistant potty trainee a bit more understood.

These things are helping me to just "Let it Go."


Never underestimate the power of a moment or the simple truths spoken from the mouths of our children.