Just Write:: New Year

The old calendar is replaced by the new and the slate feels so clean: fresh and new. A new beginning always feels so freeing and full of endless possibilities.

I look at the year ahead and wonder all of the great moments that will fill it. I feel like I've been here before, on the very edge of bringing new life into the world. I have been. Just last year. Oh my, how things have changed.

But here I am, a new calendar, a new year and finally nearing the end of a most surprising pregnancy.

As the contemplations of the new horizon ahead swirl around, I catch the other smallest member of the family toddling and walking around out of the corner of my eye. She doesn't know I watch or that silently I freeze-frame the moment in my mommy heart. She moves quicker now, knowing that she can move faster than mommy and belly can even begin to take me.

We are all on the verge of new horizons and adventures in the new year. I wonder if hers scare her as much as mine do me? Uncertainty comes with this uncharted territory. I don't like uncertainty or flying by the seat of my pants.

The calendar will fill at a most rapid rate and life will keep moving. And changing. A new little, amazing being will enter our lives before we know it and I'll be swept away in his/her littleness. The days will be full, even while the calendar seems most empty. I've been here before. Just a short year ago. And I can't believe that we are on this side of the first year.

It sparks gratitude and joy at the achievement. We all survived and we'll do it all over again. I couldn't have prepared for days such as these even in my wildest plans. But HE did. HE found a way to fill my calendar and my mommy cup to overflowing.

I stop to contemplate it but find it beyond comprehension and perhaps it's not as scary as I think. I may have just discovered the perfect word as my 2012 focus.


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