Friday, September 16, 2011

Searching For The Right Fit

This was my status last night on Facebook:

"Trying to find an activity for Jonah to be a part of, even if it's short term. He's not into sports, but he needs to get around some boys his age. Ideas?? Activities? Clubs? HELP!!"

Now I send out the same message to you. Can you offer any suggestions?

Mothering a boy is different than things are with Lily. He WAS my 'baby' for almost six years after all. So, despite him being a stubborn, head strong at times and energy zapper when he's in a funk, I sure love this little man.

He holds the key to my heart in a unique way and therefore, perhaps I need to let him grow wings more than I have let him thus far. Ok, so it's not like he's a teenager or something. He's six and has plenty time to still grow up.

But any way....

We are trying to figure out how to get him involved in something worthwhile that builds his character and confidence. Something that helps him learn how to work with others and preferably has more boys in it than himself. Because he's around his sisters and mom all day and most often with friends and family who only have girls his age, we think he could benefit from some male companionship.

Reed has considered starting a Blue Knights group (with my help), but even that may be difficult to find enough boys in our circles that are the right age. And, although Jonah was keen on the idea initially, as of late he has decided that if HE can't be the 'leader' of a boys club, then he doesn't want to be a part of a club. Stubborn, I remind you.

We were seriously considering checking out Martial Arts and have been looking in to it. The drawback is that we aren't getting returned phone calls to answer our questions and another place has disconnected phone service. Out of business?

Hubby has also looked in to Boy Scouts/Cub Scouts. I think the whole idea of having to go camping pretty much makes hubby shy away from that one. I then remind him that sometimes we have to put aside our own dislikes and comfort zones in order to encourage and help our children.

Jonah did try t-ball this past spring. He liked it a bit and it was six weeks long and once a week. That was ideal for him.

Other interests? No sports interests. And we've reached pretty far (even offering wrestling, despite my best judgment and dislike for it). He just loves to use his imagination, play Thomas trains and is fascinated by the idea of film making/movie making.

Our other drawback in the whole thing is the fact that we live at least 10-18 miles away from towns that provide even some of the things I've mentioned. It's another drive in to 'town', but worth it if we can truly find something that is just right for Jonah.

Can you help me, help him? I welcome any ideas (even far-fetched ones), suggestions or feedback on any of the above or something I haven't mentioned.

We'd love to help him find just the right fit.


  1. Start praying now, if you haven't already!! We have always struggled with this exact thing.

    Nicholas is not into sports at all. He loves piano, and now trumpet (band didn't start til 5th grade though)and he loves to read, read, read! He's a great kid though, loving baseball card collections, and anything Star Wars, and of course Legos and Bionicles (now called Hero Factory) We finally have 1 friend he plays with who lives about 5 blocks away, they are homeschoolers, and very good christians. The only problem with only having one friend, is he gets disappointed so very often, If they are gone, or on vacation, or if he just can't play. Our homeschool group has boys younger and older and only a couple his age. Nothing I've tried has fit, either they live too far away, or they have at on of brothers and have no interest. And all the boys love sports. So of course baseball season, he's out.

    He did do Cub Scouts for a few years, and it's actually where he got to know this other little boy. But Like, Reed, Tom also doesn't camp. He did go on the big trip once (and hated it). Nicholas actually did really enjoy the whole experience. I would go camp with him, if I wasn't always pregnant or nursing.

    We still pray "Lord, please bring Nicholas some good Catholic friends"

    Nicholas didn't want to go on to Boy Scouts, he crossed over but then quit. He's such a home boy, he didn't want to go camp by himself and they really encourage them to go without parents once they are Boy Scouts.

    We've prayed for so long, I'm just starting to think it is just meant to be this way.

    The girls just don't play the way he does. He will set something all up for them to play (which takes a lot of time) and then they will come and play for like 2 minutes and be done. When they go on the trampoline, he's a little rougher and they don't want to jump with him.

    (of course there are times when it all works out, but most often, it doesn't)

    It breaks a mother's heart that's for sure.

    I know that God has a plan and he was meant to be in this family of girls for some reason.

    I met a demo woman at Sam's Club once and she said she had one boy and 4 girls and that when he went off to college, and would come home, the girls would cook and bake for him and do his laundry. They missed him so much and babied him so much when he came home. (hard to imagine right now, but it keeps me thinking positive) She did say though, that when he married, his wife had a hard time because he was used to being pampered. She had to train him! haha

    Prayers for your little guy.
    I totally understand.

    (Tae Kwon Do, has given him a ton of confidence and he loves it, but it is not really a group thing, I mean there's other kids there sometimes, but they do their workout and go)

    Camping is only once a year for cub scouts...

    Prayers coming your way, I totally understand.

  2. Sarah, I have not taken the time to read Jamie's reply... so please forgive me if any of this is repetitious.

    I really recommend Cub/Boy Scouts. Cub scouts starts at age 7... they do a lot of fun stuff - and Reed DOES NOT HAVE TO GO CAMPING! In fact, Jonah may enjoy camping more simply because it is his own thing and Dad isn't there with him. There are many other areas where the Pack could probably use Reed's assistance. Due to Craig's work schedule, I was the one involved with my boys and scouting. Obviously, the men/dads did most of what was needed (like camping) but I helped flip pancakes, deliver fund raiser items, drove boys to and from outings, etc. Craig will be more involved this time around, if/when Neal wants to be involved in scouting.

    Again, knowing that Jonah wants to be the leader, or not do it all all, Cub scouts is a great fit!! These are the first steps to forming fine young men, who learn to lead and lead well. (My first boy is an Eagle Scout, second a Life scout - but this means nothing to you right now!! The two of them are as different and night and day! But both enjoyed their scouting days.) The boys - er, young men - actually run the entire scout troop and all of their outings by the time they are in their mid- to upper-teens. They are the drive, and the men/dads are there only for guidance once they reach that point.

    As with everything in life, there are times that Jonah may not enjoy the activity as much as others, but in the long run, he will learn to handle disappointment, channel his energy and learn perseverance. And when an adult, having 'Eagle Scout' on one's resume is always a plus!

    Prayers for you not only as you discern Jonah's possible activities, but in finding an activity where Godly adults are involved.

    p.s.-Any more info I can help you with concerning scouting? Email me for my phone number and we can talk! Take care....

  3. Without sports, I can't really recommend anything...its all my boys want to do. That's a different battle to fight. Just remember he is young, and his tastes will change over time. He might be a great high school athlete one day! Or not! And that's ok!

    But I do understand you wanting him to socialize with other boys. As much as homeschooling moms will deny it, I do think socialization is a concern for their kids. But at least you can pick and choose who and how your kids interact with other kids. My kids get tons of social interactions at school...but it's not always the kind I want...even at a great Catholic school.

    My boys just signed up for cooking classes at the library in the next town. They are twice a month, and free, and they love going. Another mom just offered my boys FREE tap-dancing lessons because they are trying to increase the number of boys at the dance studio. But my boys don't want to do it :( Keep looking, and something sill come up!

  4. I've her a lot of mothers of boys say that Tai-Kwon-Do was a great activity because it promotes respect of self and of others. A great confidence builder.

  5. Mine likes karate - it's good exercise and he just has to compete with himself to earn belts.

    He liked soccer too, and was better at defense than offense.

    If we didn't have such a good boy choir in the area I would be encouraging him (and dad) to try cub scouts!

  6. I don't actually have kids, but I've worked in enough after school and summer programs that I've noticed what the non-sports kids enjoy.

    Scouts, Martial Arts, Lego Clubs, Art Clubs, Science/Inventor Clubs, (Still a sport but the non sport kids like it--swimming.) Chess, Geo-caching clubs or groups.

    Hope he finds something he likes!

  7. Snarky---You are a smart woman!! You just described my son!!


You're so kind for dropping me a line!

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