Monday, October 18, 2010

Just Dreaming

The morning has a rough start.
I'm yelling at my kids almost constantly.
There's too much to do and no one is moving fast enough.
We rush through the morning, eating breakfast and getting dressed.
She chooses her clothes and they don't match.
She is putting on numerous necklaces.
Her schoolgirl outfit she insists on wearing is my least favorite.
She wants the black tights, not the white ones.
His outfit matches, but the pants are too small.
The back of his pants are all wet from some accident of sorts.
There's no time to change, at least his outfit matches.
Their shoes are too small.
I look at the clock and realize they are about to miss the bus.
Then look at another and see that every clock in the house is set on a different time.
What time is it? Are we early or are we late?
I'm still shouting and rushing, frazzled from the chaos.
I decide to drive them, heck with the bus.
We arrive at school and there are boys playing in the street.
They look at me and shout bullying comments as we pass by.
They are in fifth grade.
Sitting down in the cafeteria, my children find their classes.
I've forgotten their lunches.
They've got no lunch and no snack for later.
What was I thinking? How could I forget?
A teacher hands them each a slice of bread.
I'm embarrassed and on the verge of tears.
I hear a group of fourth grade girls giggling and speaking of things girls their age shouldn't even know.
Oh my gosh, that will be my daughter in two years.
What am I doing here? Why are my kids at this school?
My children barely look like they belong here and my heart is aching.
Why do I go through this every morning? Why don't I homeschool?
I'm so crabby to my kids......

And then I wake up. It was all a bad dream. A just-before-wake-up-time morning dream. Phew. I get my bearings and am relieved. And humbled.

Would this be our reality each morning, each week if we sent our children out of our home to school? I doubt it. It was awfully extreme and so vivid.

BUT, a dream like this on a Monday morning does make me approach the new day and this new week of homeschooling very differently. I'm glad that this is our reality, this is our Monday morning. For us, it works.

I'm Sarah and I'm a homeschool mom. Good morning!

I hope your morning and your day are off to a good start!


  1. Yep, that's a scene from our least the rushing around and yelling mom part. Thankfully every morning isn't like that, because I hate it when they are!

  2. Wow, interesting dream!
    That is probably close to reality for schooled kiddos. Busy, rushed mornings!

    I remember that feeling when forgetting my lunch when I was a kid, I hated that!!!

    Talk about causing anxiety!!

    Thankful to be homeschooling!!

  3. Whew! I'm glad that wasn't your REAL morning!

    That rushing around is something I'll have to consider as I discern school (small, very Catholic) vs. home schooling.

    For now, the my older son is in the local public kindergarten, and the younger in preschool, and that rushing in the mornings is my life... luckily it's goes more smoothly that your dream did... so far.

  4. I love this, Sarah! Mostly because it wasn't your morning, of course, :) but also for the reminder that when/if we do homeschool, to remember it as a blessing in the midst of chaotic moments.

  5. We transitioned from homeschooling to public schooling (yes including a bus that picks them up at 8:01) and I can honestly say that our mornings never consist of yelling and frantic anything.

    It is up to US as mothers to set the atmosphere and tone for the home, and that begins with being disciplined. My kids lunches are made, backpacks and shoes are where they are supposed to be and clothes laid out before bed.

    There is an order in the home, and a rhythm to this life that can bring peace, harmony and joy to the family, but it starts with us.

    I do miss the days of snuggling in bed longer, but that is something we relish on the weekends. And schooling in general has brought more balance and discipline to all of our lives.

    I am glad for you that your dream was not a reality, because that would be a horrible way to live. I have a sense though, that if someone's reality WAS like that with their children in school, it wouldn't be much different if they homeschooled because it is a sign of something deeper that is amiss. The lack of discipline on the mother's part and a lack of order in the home.

    By the way, dear, you are looking lovely as always, and I am sorry I have been so MIA. Praying for a continued healthy pregnancy!


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