It Wasn't Worth It

In an effort to uncover my 'unexplained infertility' issue, we've tried a lot of things and so far none have exposed the problem. So, we press on. Currently, I am undergoing nutritional testing with a chiropractor to watch what areas of my body are out of balance and need a little help via nutritional supplements and also to keep a closer watch on what types of food I'm putting in my body.

Trust me, I am reluctant in this whole process. I've used the reasoning that "I just want to live and enjoy life and not worry about everything I'm eating!!". Ok, but truthfully, I am becoming aware. Very aware.

The doctor has me keeping a daily food log of meals, snacks and fluid intake. I'm only in my second week, but it is quite revealing! I consider myself healthy, mostly based on my activity/exercise level and my body weight. I also consider our household in the 'healthy' category since we are not a family that eats pre-packaged, processed foods very often. That being said, keeping this food log has helped me become aware of what I'm eating and when, as well as when I get cravings and what I eat to feed those cravings.

After my re-check on Monday with the doctor, he's asked that I try for the next two weeks to decrease my wheat and sugar intake to 1 a day for each. Yikes! Not so tough with the wheat, but the sugar a bit more difficult. Again, not that I am eating sweets and sugars all day, but those tempting Dove chocolates do call to me quite often!

So, this week I am working hard to attain the goal the good doctor has set for me. Yesterday, I tried hard. I worked hard. I drank water like a fish. And then, after supper when my cravings could no longer be subdued, I gave in. I had reserved and waited all day for my 1 sugar for the day and I was craving chocolate. I decided to go for it. Hey, why not use my daily allowance rather than skipping it all together? I'm a woman and I NEEDED chocolate! I must tell you that chocolate AND peanut butter are my failings. With that said, I chose to indulge in both last night. I went ahead and put my peanut butter and chocolate chips in the microwave to melt a bit and then sat down to enjoy it. WHILE WATCHING THE BIGGEST LOSER!! Yes, I ate THAT, while watching other people exercise and lose weight!!!

Worst part? My stomach hurt almost instantly (perhaps it was guilt!) and I didn't enjoy it one bit! Somehow, the taste that I have grown fond of and come to rely on when cravings strike, was just another thing in my mouth that didn't taste good at all. Oh, it really was not worth it!! I literally felt like drinking gallons of water to wash it all away and get rid of it.

Lesson learned? Probably (until next time). Most importantly though, I may be learning that I don't really NEED that sugar as much as I think I do. I think this whole food log thing is coming at the right time. It will work perfectly with the season of Lent and will help me with my prayers and fasting.

Here's to a faithful, fruitful Lenten Season!