The sound of children....

While the weather here has been in limbo between winter and spring lately, the "spring itch" seems to be hitting those of us here in the house day after day. After suffering from numerous colds, coughs, flu and everything in between this winter, let's say we all need some time to run around outside! As I was contemplating this and regretting another cold, blustery day last week, I stopped for a moment and listened. What I heard weren't the usual voices of childhood rivalry or those declarations of "I was playing with that first" or "Mom,(brother)or (sister) took my..." In the quietness of my kitchen I stood and listened to the little voices of my kids playing...together. They were downstairs in one of their imaginative play modes where every toy spoke and every object became something else. I couldn't help but feel proud as I listened and heard my little children interacting, learning, socializing and having fun together as brother and sister. Moments later,they were both re-enacting scenes from one of their favorite movies (right now any way), Thomas and the Magic Railroad. They were accurately reciting back and forth line after line of dialog. What amazing kids! What an amazing moment. It was one to cherish and enjoy as I realized how glad I am to be a mom. And to hear the sounds of children. My children.

A Look Inside

Ok, to say that this is long overdue would be an understatement. When I started this blog I figured it would be a place to quickly type out the latest thought on my mind or something I want to share. So, I am hoping to start fresh and renew my commitment to do just that. Not that I always have so much to share, sometimes it may serve as a place to share what I cannot verbalize.
So, what I wonder is what happens to someone who is given no better reason (after 1 1/2 yrs.) for not conceiving another child other than "unexplained infertility"? And where are the other women like me who must endure "secondary infertility" (women who have conceived and had children in the past and struggle with conceiving again or may not be able to have any more children)? I have decided that although this may not be an important subject to very many people and also tends to send most out of their comfort level, there must be a reason that God has chosen me (and my husband) to go down this dark and lonely road. Do I want someone to feel sorry for me? No, that's not my desire. Compassion? Understanding? I think so. A little of that could go a long way sometime. Rather than having someone dismiss it and use excuses to cover it up ("you're young, you'll have more someday", "your kids are young yet" or "you've got plenty of time"), sometimes a thoughtful prayer goes a long way.
But don't worry, this whole thing has provided me with something. A Look Inside. Yep, a better chance to draw closer to God, my husband and my kids by taking a better look inside. An affirmation of faith, renewed love and greater hope. Easy? Most days, no. I do keep trying though every day.