Preparing to bid farewell to another summer gone too fast, I find myself playing the game of catch-up.
The beginning of summer bloomed promising. There were going to be so many things done, so many projects finished, so much accomplished. Well, that's not completely true. In my mind, although I wanted to do so many things and try to make the summer super fun for the kids, I knew it was merely going to be about survival.
After being pregnant the last two summers, this summer we were reaping the reward of those two pregnant summers...two healthy little girls. We were just going to focus on the juggling act of daily living and merely survive.
And you know what? We didmake it. We even made some great memories along the way and managed to fill the summer with plenty of activity.
As I took all four kids by myself to the county fair last week, I thought about beginnings and ends. There was no way I would've thought of venturing out on my own with all the kids in public way back in June. Most every outing away from our front porch left me worried and waiting for just when the dreaded meltdown of one of the little girls would happen. Yes, they are very good girls for a toddler and a baby, but you know how that is, right? It's the fear and the what-ifs that can scare you into never leaving the confines of your yard again. It was one such meltdown and screaming/crying bout that almost sent me to the convent running.
Instead, I stayed. We all thrived and grew and suddenly we are coming to summer's end and I can grasp more fully the beauty of the moment. The ability to breathe without anxiety in my chest and fear in my head.
Beginnings and ends teach us a lot throughout life, don't they? Sometimes a path we started on didn't lead to the obvious ending we originally sought out. Something that in the beginning was so exciting and new may have just ended in regret and disappointment.
Think of a good book. It maybe wasn't the greatest read when you started out, but then you fell in love with the characters and you could barely set it down until you finished reading it.
The perfect job that you find and love, only to lead to a sudden buy-out and you out of work.
Even in pregnancy, most often it either begins or ends with sickness, being uncomfortable and miserable, but then to be rewarded with a beautiful child.
Or even the exercise workout that was going to revolutionize your life, change the way you think about food and make you shed inches, but eventually got monotonous just like the others.
Sometimes if we knew what lay ahead, we may not have even wanted to begin. The other times, we begin and press forward, we live, we learn. Months pass, seasons change, life keeps moving forward.
Now it is August and the stressed mom with the Irish twins rests a little easier. Each day is one more success, one more triumph of a day won. Now a silent tear is shed with thoughts of months quickly gone by and babies and children growing too fast, not a tear of anxiety and life that overwhelms her.
Sometimes the end is bittersweet. Sometimes the end is the beginning of something very wonderful that lies ahead.