Thursday, May 14, 2009

In Memory of Our Child

Today marks the 5th anniversary of my miscarriage of our little one. At barely 9 weeks, we didn't know the gender of our sweet baby. Our closest inclination at that early date had been that it was a little girl and we gave her the only name that we had begun to identify with: Natalie Noel. She would have been due a week before Christmas and as we found out, the name Natalie means Christmas Child. It only seemed fitting that our unborn Christmas Child be given this name.

As the years have passed, May 14th is a little easier, as is December 18 which was the due date for our child. The memory of that day though is etched in my mind as much as the feelings of loss ever are. The loss is always a difficult one for me to grieve because had we not lost Natalie, we wouldn't have Jonah. He was conceived just two months after our miscarriage. I couldn't ever trade one child for another, but it reminds me inevitably that one child cannot replace another. Each human being is wonderfully made and a unique design. How awesome is God's plan for creation!

Natalie is still remembered as a part of our family. Sometimes in daily conversation with our kids, each Christmas as we hang her ornament on the tree, each summer as I tend the flower garden in her honor and each day as I pass her Certificate of Life hanging in our family room.

Today marks a day of loss for our family, but also as a gain to the precious little soul that surely awaits us beyond the gates in Heaven. As her mother, I know that she is watching over me and knows how my mother's heart still aches to see her and to hold her. I so often picture her in Mary's sweet embrace with all of the other little children that so many of our family and friends have lost in death and miscarriage. We have quite the group up there in Heaven waiting for us!

I hope to be with my little one one day and find out if she was indeed a Natalie or perhaps a little Nathan instead. But for today, we will find a way to honor her by doing something special for 'Natalie's Day'.

Natalie's Garden:


  1. October 18th is the day I lost my Gabriel. It will always be a special day, the day he entered Heaven. I, too, conceived my Katherine soon after (one month) so it is bittersweet. I think it shows how each life is created for God's purpose, how our Gabriel was meant for Heaven (as we all are).

    Very beautiful post.

  2. I'm sorry that such a happy day for my family also has a sad memory for you! Natalie is a beautiful name, and within the grief... what a blessing to know that she is your Little Saint, praying for your family!

  3. I'm so sorry for your loss, Sarah. I hope that you were able to do something special today for Natalie's Day. Sending many prayers your way.

  4. That's a beautiful tribute to your little Natalie. Blessings to you.

  5. Such a beautiful post. The Lord has a master plan, and I'm thankful we as Christians can lean on that fact. Natalie is a beautiful name, can't wait to meet her in heaven. Angie


You're so kind for dropping me a line!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...