Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Days Like This
You know those days when you think you maybe should have just stayed in bed and ignored the demands of another day? Today is one of those days. Well, not completely. I haven't gone crazy. Yet.
The end of the school year is near, but yet far enough that each assignment is filled with dramatics and complaint. The piano doesn't play itself and therefore leads the musician most obstinate in getting practicing done for the day. The toys cluttering my bedroom that I've asked to be picked up several days ago, are still there and now officially banished from ever darkening my doorway again. Or else.
Toys are strewn across the floor in another wave of toddler tornado. The fits and starts of rain outside means we are stuck inside. Again. The cap we put on daily electronic time (Wii, computer, tv, iPod) has left the troops angered. And yet, when reminded that the time diminishes every time they do not get off an electronic immediately when the time is up, it is our fault for being such mean parents. Ah yes, today I am the mean mom, the crabby one, the parent they will never be like because their children will have it differently. I guess somehow they got the idea that I'm up for the Mom of the Year award and wanted to be sure that my nomination was nixed from the ballot.
If we had a dog or cat, I'm sure they'd be mad at me today too.
Do you have these days? The ones like this that make the mantle of motherhood so hard to wear and seemingly unattainable?
Today I'm dreaming of a peaceful place. And maybe of the day that the house is empty. Feeling just a wee-bit defeated by mothering growing, older children who can walk away from me and talk back to me. It's easy to let the feeling of failure take over and the realization that my children are far from perfect. The road ahead in the area of discipline and life lessons seems long and daunting on a day like today.
It's feeling like we're at a place of a little less hand holding and gentle direction to a place of strict discipline, consequences and firm expectations. Sure we've been doing all of this for years, but we get a bit lenient and let things slide every once in a while.
There are lessons to be learned. Requirements to be made. Rules to follow.
It's not that bad, really. There have been worse days, I remind myself. It's just that days like this catch me off guard when we've been in a smooth and blissful pattern.
And as all of this is swimming through my head, the heavens open up wide and send me some sunshine.
The baby giggles and laughs.
The toddler looks up at me and shouts "Mommy!" clearly and loudly for the first time.
They save the day and draw my attention back to reality. It's gonna be OK. We'll make it through somehow. Maybe the day isn't a total bust.
There's also that peanut butter cake, fresh out of the oven that may help make the rest of today more manageable.