Monday, March 3, 2008

A Look Inside

Ok, to say that this is long overdue would be an understatement. When I started this blog I figured it would be a place to quickly type out the latest thought on my mind or something I want to share. So, I am hoping to start fresh and renew my commitment to do just that. Not that I always have so much to share, sometimes it may serve as a place to share what I cannot verbalize.
So, what I wonder is what happens to someone who is given no better reason (after 1 1/2 yrs.) for not conceiving another child other than "unexplained infertility"? And where are the other women like me who must endure "secondary infertility" (women who have conceived and had children in the past and struggle with conceiving again or may not be able to have any more children)? I have decided that although this may not be an important subject to very many people and also tends to send most out of their comfort level, there must be a reason that God has chosen me (and my husband) to go down this dark and lonely road. Do I want someone to feel sorry for me? No, that's not my desire. Compassion? Understanding? I think so. A little of that could go a long way sometime. Rather than having someone dismiss it and use excuses to cover it up ("you're young, you'll have more someday", "your kids are young yet" or "you've got plenty of time"), sometimes a thoughtful prayer goes a long way.
But don't worry, this whole thing has provided me with something. A Look Inside. Yep, a better chance to draw closer to God, my husband and my kids by taking a better look inside. An affirmation of faith, renewed love and greater hope. Easy? Most days, no. I do keep trying though every day.

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