Thursday, March 12, 2009

Persistent Prayer

As we've been trying to conceive another child for over 2 1/2 years and dealing with the diagnosis of 'unexplained infertility' for over a year, we've been rather silent about the matter with our children, especially our 6 year old daughter. She is wise beyond her years, that one. Instead, we have always taken the approach that so far it hasn't been the right time yet to add to our family and that God isn't ready just yet to bring another baby in our home. When she started mentioning it probably over 1 1/2 years ago, we told her that she could pray along with us for our family to be blessed with more children and brothers and sisters for her and her brother. Her prayer then gradually became a daily addition to our mealtime prayers and she's hardly missed a day all this time!

Her prayer originally went like this: "Please give me one more sister and two more brothers". I always asked why she wanted more brothers and she always replied that she only needed one sister!

In the past couple months though, the prayer has taken a different tone and goes like this: " Pray for mommy to have four more sisters and four more brothers". When the prayer took this sudden change, I asked her why the number had increased and she replied, "because I have four girl names I really like and four boy names". I then asked what those names were, "for the girls it's Susan, Lucy, Grace & Julia. For the boys it's Caspian, Edmund, Peter & Rilian". Does anyone see the theme here? Have you seen the Chronicles of Narnia movies? Even the older version we found that includes Prince Rilian? These names and the prayer additions came right around the time that she was introduced to the Narnia movies. And so, the desire for more siblings was born!

I had to laugh a couple weeks ago when I had a realization during her prayer and heard it in a totally different way. Look at the words. No wonder it isn't working! She's praying for ME to have more brothers and sisters. That means for MY parents to have more children! This was even more funny the other week when she prayed her prayer and my parents were seated at the table. They made the same realization and looked at each other across the table and kind of chuckled. They admitted later that I won't be getting any more siblings. They are in their mid-late 50's!

I think Lily was even second-guessing her prayers one day, since she came to me and asked how many children four more brothers, four more sisters and she and her brother totaled. When I told her 10, she had a look of astonishment, but then admitted that it was a lot, but still not too many.

I have been inspired by my litle girl's child-like faith, especially at times when my hopeful heart is weighted down by my diagnosis and lack of answers. Like her, we keep on praying. Like me, she keeps on hoping. But some days, even the two of us can't help but be disappointed. The other day as I told her excitedly about two friends I had just found out were pregnant and having babies, I think I saw her heart break a little. I think mine did too. Together, we await the arrival of other mommy's babies and celebrate with them, but I know we both are waiting for when it will be our turn. She doesn't have to say it any more, I can see it.

Persistent, Consistent prayer and Child-Like Faith will help us through this.




2 comments:

  1. Sarah that is so cute....that Lily is something else. You are in our prayers as well, but you can tell Jan that we are not praying for more siblings for you, so she shouldn't worry!

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  2. My prayers are joined with yours! The day I hear you are expecting again, I think I will cry for joy.

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